Letters
Dear Wendy,
I need to get something off my chest. My child's teacher has said he may not drink water from the water fountain in the classroom. Does this sound like discrimination to you? I contacted the principal and he said I should talk to the teacher. I sent her an email and she responded that she thinks it's best if someone like Kiernan (my son) brings a water bottle from home. Can she do this?
- Concerned
​
Dear Concerned -
Are you absolutely sure you have the whole story? As Kiernan's mom, you probably don't know what it's like being a young boy, but if you have brothers, as I do, you might be able to imagine what they are like. They can be ornery, and often figure out what their parents want to hear when they get caught. Sit Kiernan down and ask him for the entire story, not just the part that he feels like sharing. Then let him know the two of you are going to talk to the teacher together. See what happens to his story then.
Please try to think of Kiernan as a real person, with the same flaws as the rest of us. That doesn't make him bad -- it makes him real. I've never known a teacher to deny a student water from the water fountain. Not unless he has decided to make the water fountain his own personal 'splash everyone around' device.
Love, Wendy
Dear Wendy,
​ My mom wants to send me to a Catholic school. I'm scared of leaving my friends, but that's why she wants to do it. How can I keep her from changing my school?
- Anxious
​
Dear Anxious -
Your mom probably wants the best for you, and she thinks that changing your school will allow for this.
Why don't you sit down with her when neither of you is in a bad mood and ask her what she thinks a change of school will do for you?
One of the hardest things about being young is that it's very difficult to see beyond next week. Your mom has the benefit of years on this planet, and she might see you making some of the same mistakes that she did. Education is about getting prepared for the world after you grow up. Why not let your mom be part of the preparation? If you ask her in a mature way, she might respond in a mature way. Give it a try.
Love, Wendy
​
Dear Wendy,
I'm a new teacher, just out of college. I believe I had good preparation for teaching, but my principal is finding fault with a lot of the things I do in class. For one thing, he says that I need to use exit tickets after a lesson. I feel like this exercise is just a cutesy way to get the students to go through the motions of a script we've all been given. None of my colleagues say they ever read the exit tickets they give in class, and some of them say they only assign exit tickets when they are being observed.
All of this feels disingenuous. Am I wrong?
- The Rookie
​
Dear Rookie -
You are correct: the use of exit tickets is a cutesy way to get the students involved. Your colleagues are also correct: almost no one looks at those tickets, even the administrators who use them in their PD meetings.
You will learn that it is best to do what your principal wants you to do, at least when he is present. Take the time to read those exit tickets when you do give them; they can give you information you wouldn't otherwise be privy to. But if you over-use this strategy, it will become as stale as every other 'sliced-bread' approach that's been touted as the new best practice over the last 20 years.
If you teach with heart, your students will know. If you toe the line with your principal and stroke his ego, your career will also survive.
Do the best you can for your students and try to stay sane.
Love, Wendy
Dear Wendy,
My teacher is this really nice lady who I can tell loves teaching. The problem is the kids in class who don't want to learn. Kiernan, Tony, and Nikki are always trying to say funny things. I ignore it because I think it's stupid, but the teacher doesn't say what she really should: "Get out if you don't want to learn."
My mom says she can't do that. I say she should be able to. What do you say?
​ - Candice
​
Dear Candice,
Your mom is right -- there's nothing really the teacher can do, in today's climate. Her principal is probably suffering from the same malady that most other principals in schools across the country suffer from: the expectation that parents of difficult children need to be placated. This idea has permeated behavioral expectations for a generation now, and there's little that can be done.
You can continue to display displeasure for your classmates and let them know you consider their performances stale at best. You and your mother can also write a letter to the principal about your concerns and copy it to the superintendent. You might also write a letter to the editor of your city's newspaper. The more people understand just how much the do-nothings and their parents control educational practices, the more likely things are to change.
The only way we are going to get back to a serious, learning-centered education is if we all collectively say, 'Enough is enough'.
Love, Wendy
​